At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
