if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
