you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize