Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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