I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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