yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
