Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Screwed.edu
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
