the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
