There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize