maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
