So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
