hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
