Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
