That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
