she smelled like a LAN party
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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