I hate all girls vehemently.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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