yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
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