ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Your tits are I can't wait for
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
