Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
