Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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