Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
