a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
