you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
