and next time when you feel me up, do it right
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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