you guys were way drunker than both of me
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
