You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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