you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize