Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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