I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
