and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Randomize
