A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
the liver wants what the liver wants
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Drunk is not a location!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
