You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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