No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
