I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
