do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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