I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
