I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize