I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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