people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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