we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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