So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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