Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
