You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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