office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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