you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I have fence marks all over my body
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
