So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
