would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Also, beer. Big fan.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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