it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
