He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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