You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
