better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
