hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My butt remains clenched, sir.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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