that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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