I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
