a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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