He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize