that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
