His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
