if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
